Flashback

There have been days in Dubai where I would leave my apartment due to boredom and go to my Aunt's apartment to see whats happening at their place. As there wouldn't be much happening there as well, I would stick around watch TV with my Aunt or just talk to her about general stuff. We both enjoyed cricket and so that would be the topic often. After sticking around for a bit she would make me something to eat regardless of time. There were instances where my Aunt and I would pull pranks on friends or family who are just visiting. By the end of the day, it used to seem like a fun day and then I would tell friends and my parents what stupid thing we did.

In Dubai, when ever anyone spoke about vacation it normally meant a trip to India. My parents would plan a vacation like every year or once in 2 years, which I dint really care about, as I preferred staying in Dubai and spending time with friends during summer. The only reason I would consider actually going to India and Bombay to be precise, was because of the fact that I would get to meet my first cousins and the same Aunt from Dubai. Once we got to Bombay we, my family and my first cousins, would plan to visit places within India. I as a matter of fact envied my Aunt and her family because they would travel very often, keep relocating and above all board a plane. As I always did and still do enjoy a plane ride. My Aunt was know for relocating back and forth from Dubai and Bombay. And for some reason if my Aunt and her family weren't there in India and if there are plans being made for a vacation I would try my level best to call it off.

I could get away with murder when it comes to my Aunt. There were times when I was kicked out of my house, for being a moron or for coming home late at night, I dint really have to worry as much, as all I had to do was go to my Aunt's place and tell her that i got kicked out and she would laugh it off and ask me to join her watch some movie or if its really late she would have my bed ready and would tell me that I can do whatever I want and here is my bed ready for whenever I intend going to bed.

Festivals or some occasion that we would celebrate, my younger first cousin and I would always look forward to it because of the gifts that we would receive. But in this case I loved my Aunt's idea of gifts, as her gift would always be an envelope with my name on it. This would excite me the most as I always knew that it was going to be cash.

Even though we were a nuclear family, the way we lived and did things, did seem like my first cousins and I were from an extended family. Every individual in this extended family was consulted for different things and I was called in when there is anything related to technology such as computers, video games, tv, home theater systems, etc. Till date this particular fact remains the same to the extend that my younger cousin calls me internationally from India and would ask for my help. My Aunt wouldn't even have a second though of what I had to say and would go by my word. To add to this my Aunt had a special corner for her son and I. My younger cousin and I would by default get the best in every aspect from gifts to complements. Taking all this into consideration I did actually tell my friends that we are an extended family.

All this reduced drastically when I relocated to the U.S. to pursue my undergrad and I would travel down to Dubai once a year. But would have a month or two of vacation filled with loads of love and affection which would balance out for the whole year that I would spend away from family and home. I wouldn't have to even name it and I would get it. It was more like my Aunt and my Mom were telepathic. When it came to them I was given anything and everything because they concluded that it would make me happy. The funny thing is that one doesn't appreciate or value such things until there is some kind of catastrophe following it. We as humans take things for granted as long as we possess it.

Imagine walking up the stairways for your room in the dark and to think that there is one more step then there is. Your feet falls down through the air and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise. Its a feeling that no one really enjoys and wouldn't want to experience it again. In the recent past I did experience something similar, but the difference is that the sickly moment lasts for a longer period of time and one would regret it as long as they aren't ready to let go.

On October 29, 2008 I get a unexpected call giving me the sorrowful news of the demise of my Aunt. This is an eposide that the Herekar family is going to dwell upon for a very long time. Ever since I have been living in the past, remembering the time when I would surprise everyone in Dubai by unexpectedly just landing up. My Aunt would have a big smile on her face, ear to ear, and would get so excited with a disbelief that I am actually standing in front of her. She would then hold my face and give me a kiss on my forehead and make me sit next to her till when it doesn't sink in that I am actually back. This would initialize a series of plans where she would take me out for dinner and cook something special for me. She would actually call family and friends and let them know that I am in town and narrate the surprise.

I met my Aunt last in December 2007, when I went to Pune for my sisters wedding. I was so engaged in spending time with friends that I dint get the chance to spend proper and enough time with my Aunt. There were relatives complaining about the fact that I dint spend time with them. My Aunt was the only one to stand up for me and tell the relatives that their allegations are all wrong and no one knew me better than she did. I am still in disbelief that I wont get to see her anymore, talk to her or have her hand cooked food anymore. She would tell me to get done with my schooling as soon as possible, in order to live together as a family. There are many such things and lot more for me to say but there isn't going to be an end to it. I could go on and on. But somewhere I have this feeling that I am going to meet her someday, sometime, somewhere in the future. Such perspectives are often considered naive and as I have claimed it before, yes I am naive.

I would like to add one more thing, if you have every lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels. And if you haven't you cannot possibly imagine it.

This post is in the loving memory of my Aunt, Renu Herekar a.k.a Jaanki Desai a.k.a. Renu Kaki a.k.a. Renu Mami, who is always going to be remembered regardless of the occasion. She was dear to all of us and is going to be missed on every occasion. I love you, Renu Kaki.